It was about 10:15pm as I stood facing the white porcelain in disbelief. Looking down, I see a soup of soggy, befouled paper. I must have used half a roll by now. There! Look at how it laughs at me, the chocolatey eye of evil, which gets no smaller, though its pink halo of hemoglobin grows more and more opaque with each progressive wipe.
There is a tiny brown smear of pain and filth at the center of the universe...
and it hates me.