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HOLY SHIT!

I had my Jerry Falwell Death Clock up for years, and he went and died almost exactly 7 days earlier than his life expectancy! Of course, it was tricky to guess when he would die compared to his life expectancy, since variables like "Morbidly obese" were see-sawing with variables like "Filthy rich with far better healthcare than any of us could ever hope to afford." Better early than late, I suppose. Now Pat Robertson had better make nice with Fred Phelps so someone will agree with him next time he plays the "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God" card when there's a hurricaine or flood or terrorist attack or something. Thanks for all the emails, people. Just to answer the recurring question, no, I am not a genie, I just know that disgustingly fat fascist blow-hards don't live forever. PRAISE THE LARD!